I have so many thoughts running around in my head right now, I just had to sit down and write.

We had an eventful day today, the morning was fortunately fairly slow, just the basic routine of a shower, juicing, breakfast, getting everyone dressed and teeth brushed, which all takes until about 10am anyway! Then I was trying to get a few little homeschooling things in, mainly helping Samuel with his image writing for letters, a whole new adventure we are embarking on of helping him overcome his struggle with symbol imagery to help reading become a reality for him. In the midst of this I am trying to do things like get dressed, brush my hair, make a few dishes to bring to our potluck, get the house picked up, have the kids practice their skit they wanted to perform at the Thanksgiving Feast, and have them all get fully ready to go. So we finally managed to escape the house at about 11:50, only a few minutes before the feast began!

Off we went to our annual Santa Barbara Christian Homesteaders Thanksgiving Feast, a potluck dream, complete with a special time for any children who want to perform able to get up in front of everyone and do anything from recite a memory verse to sing a song or in our family's case, perform a little skit.

So I somehow managed to get all of the children, jackets (it had been raining that morning), food and skit paraphanalia out of the parking lot, up the stairs, down the long path, and into the building. Fortunately Samuel has been becoming an amazing helper and Joanna is old enough now to not have to be handled so carefully, so he was able to carry her all that way.

We grab some seats at a table and I pull out our dishes to add to the buffet, but not before I first grab 5 plates and fill them with one of our dishes I brought (the line was way too long at that point to do the kosher thing). I staved off Hope's incessant "I want this, I want that... Can I have some of this?" for a little while, and got most of the children successfully fed lunch, with Joanna sitting on my lap. Then it was time for the performances to begin.

The Lomelino children were towards the end (fortunately they were all pretty captivated watching everyone else perform, even Joanna was at least most of the time). Hope said Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Then they performed their skit. They did a really great job and it was pretty hilarious. The boys had a bunch of cute cowboy gear on and Hope was the announcer for their rodeo. She said, "Next up, Jeremiah Lomelino in the cow roping contest." Then Jeremiah rode out on our stick horse and Samuel ran out on all fours as the cow. Jeremiah swung the rope around and around trying to laso Samuel, and all of a sudden ended up lasoing himself accidently! Everyone laughed so hard! Then they switched, Hope announced, "Next up, Samuel Lomelino in the cow roping contest," and Samuel rode out on the horse while Jeremiah crawled around as a cow. It was awesome and super funny and cute.

And I learned something watching my little brood up on stage today. Especially watching Hope say her verse and then speak during the skit. When she was up there I realized that she is still so little and so young. I saw her as the tiny little girl she is, still in need of so much help and guidance. But when I am with her, especially in her home, I so easily forget this. Of course, she does try to act like a teenager or even sometimes a forty year old, stuck in a little 5 year old's body. But the truth is, sometimes it is just that I forget. And in my forgetting, I expect things of her that are so beyond her capacity, thinking she is 10 or 15 years old, instead of the little girl she still is.

I really want to try to start remembering this. I think it will help me so much in how easily I get frustrated with her. Its not to say she isn't difficult, because she really is a very difficult child to mother. She tests me a 1,000 times a day in a 100 different ways, and it is no small task to try to manage her. But I think it will help me so much if I start to realize that so much of it is that she really is just still so young. I think in some ways, I need to realize that just as it is so hard for me to handle her sometimes, it is that much harder for her to handle herself. It is so hard for her to have self-control in situations. She always needs to be moving, touching things, asking things, trying to get into things and somehow accomplish what she wants. She doesn't know how to handle not getting what she wants. She struggles to manage her emotions, and to know what to do with herself when she gets upset.

And not only to I forget these things so much of the time, I also forget that she is still only 5. These last 3 (almost 4) years of dealing with so much with her (I'm estimating it started getting really hard when she was about 2) have felt like a lifetime already. Almost every day is so long with Hope in my life. I am exhausted at the end of the day, even if I barely did anything (not that that really ever happens, but theoretically speaking), simply because of the mental and emotional toll Hope takes on me. It is hard to really explain what it is like and why it is so hard, it is kind of something you just have to experience. But the point isn't really about how hard it is to be Hope's mom. The point is that I still need a lot of new perspectives on things. And I think God wanted to show me an important one today. It doesn't matter if these 3, almost 4 years have felt long and like a lifetime. The truth is, she is still only 5 (though I should be saying 6 since she is one week away from turning 6). And I need to stop expecting her to have the maturity of an adult. I need to learn to be okay with the fact that she is young, and needs to be given time and space and a lot of encouragement to be able to grow into who God desires her to be. And I really, really need to exercise A LOT of patience as I bear with her in this process.

So, there is my lesson for the day. I want to also quickly finish recording the events of the day as well. I have realized lately that these days and seasons really are going by quickly, and I want to have some records of what it was like. I already have forgotten so much of what my life was like a few years ago, much less five or six years ago. I know a few years from now these days will be faint memories. I would like to have a few days written down just so I can look back and see how far we've come.

So, we got home eventually from the Thanksgiving Feast (both arriving somewhere and departing both seem to take an excrutiating amount of time these days!). Everyone was tired but it really was too late to take naps, so I opted for an early dinner and early bedtime. We had some food left over from the potluck items I had taken, so I figured I would use that and just add a few simple ingredients to it to spruce it up a bit, and dinner would be easy to throw together. So I sat on the couch and read a book to the kids for a little bit (in the midst of wiping someone's bottom, dealing with the baby that I HAD put down for a nap but that she wasn't agreeing to, and trying to get Hope to sit down and stay sitting with us). People were also coming in and out, some to hang out, some to ask questions, and some to help me out around the house.

Eventually it was very obviously time for me to get up and focus on dinner, of course about 30 minutes later than I should have. So instead of eating at 5 like I had planned, it was finally ready by 5:30, though the baby had already been fussing for food for about 10 minutes. We ate, got up, and I wanted to do a quick getting ready for bed routine for the night. And I forget that when I have an agenda, it is already a recipe for disaster, because I will inevitably end up frustrated and angry when my plan is thwarted by life (which is almost always is).

So I take Joanna up to put her to bed, and she is so tired that she falls asleep while I am nursing her and it takes about twice as long as it normally does. I FINALLY come back downstairs and target Jeremiah to get him ready for bed, but not after glancing at the living room and bedroom and seeing they are in complete disarray. After asking Hope and Samuel to start cleaning up, I notice an Advil on the ground in our bedroom, where the kids have been playing throughout the evening. I ask Hope is she had eaten any, and though I am not sure if I can trust her answer because she has been lying so much lately, she denies it and seems fairly sincere. But I am not sure about Jeremiah. So I ask him, and he answers, "Yes" (which right now sounds more like "Wes!"). I can't tell if he is telling the truth or not, and I ask him how many and he holds up his hand and several fingers in a totally noncommital way. I am scared now, wondering if he really did, and continue to question him. He begins vacillating back and forth between yes and no, and I have no idea what the truth is. I know he is definitely lying on one of these answers, and I am getting so frustrated that I have no way of knowing the truth, that I am about to loose it. Plus, the bottle reads to keep away from children and to seek medical help immediately if they ingest them. Great! For all I know he has eaten 5 or 10 Advils and needs his stomach pumped, but I can't even get a straight answer as to if he ate any at all. I give him the childproof bottle and see if he can open it (he can't), and get frustrated yet again thinking about why we even have these in our house, and why they would ever be in a place any child could reach them, and perhaps he really didn't get into them but my husband left two out somewhere and they got knocked on the ground. Basically, I am just scared and upset and feel out of control of the situation and unsure of what to do. After calling Jason (who wasn't home, another reason I was frustrated about the whole thing), and ask if he left some Advil out and had him talk to Jeremiah on the phone to try to get him to tell him the truth or at least discern if he was lying (Jason is much more discerning on this than me), we conclude that he didn't eat any afterall. This was half a relief but also half more angering, because I could not understand why in the world my child would lie to me like that. Maybe I should understand this more, but being born with the gene that always made lying feel like the worst thing ever, I have never been able to lie or had a desire to, nor been able to understand how anyone ever could lie, especially so outright like that.

In order to keep this already really long post from turning into an entire book, I will try to sum up the rest of the evening a little more quickly. I forgot to add that before I even found the Advil and we embarked on that whole crazy episode, I had had to give Hope spankings for not listening when I was upstairs feeding Joanna and I had pointed for her to go downstairs and not talk while I was feeding her (it is a rule that they cannot come up there when I am nursing Joanna because she always gets distracted and stops nursing). Hope of course didn't pay any attention to my pointing finger and instead kept coming up closer to me and started whispering to me whatever question or comment she had. So I told her that she had to get spankings when I got downstairs. She of course was totally hysterical when I gave them to her (partially just because she is so emotional and almost always gets that way and partially because she was so tired from skipping her nap). And it was in the midst of her hysterical crying that I found the Advil on the ground and had to start dealing with that mess. Somewhere in the midst of this Samuel opened up a box of jam that I specifically told him not too, so he had to have some consequences as well (which was just no more play time and having to clean the rest of the time before bed). Also there was a ton of stuff all over that mostly Hope had gotten out, which I had to micromanage getting put away.

And I also had to have some reconciliation with Jeremiah before I took him to bed, because I was so hurt about his lying, and I knew I also had gotten too upset with him. I knew there were hurt feelings on both of our ends. I brought him over to me and just let him know that it hurt me when he lied and that I didn't really understand it either. I was still upset, and knew I just needed to forgive him and let it go. I know it is unrealistic to expect a 4-yr-old to be able to explain why he lied to me. So, I had him say he was sorry for lying and I told him I forgave him. I told him I was sorry for getting upset with him, and he said he forgave me. We hugged for quite awhile, and then I finally took him to bed.

SOOO, so much for that early bedtime. By the time they each were in bed, it was just as late as normal. Another source of great frustration for me.

And then I came down and decided I better write down some things while they were all fresh in my memory. A day in the life of the Lomelinos in 2012, with a 7 1/2 year old, almost 6 year old, just turned 4 year old, and 18 month old. It is crazy, it is hectic, it has moments of sanity, only to be followed by crazy hysterics. And somehow in the midst of it all, God is here. And He is wanting to teach me and grow me... 1,000 lessons in 100 different ways.

I think every day there are many lessons for me to learn. That was one of the reasons I wanted to write tonight. Not only did I somehow realize in the midst of this crazy day that these seasons really ARE going to pass so quickly, I also realized that I need to capture the lessons and not let them pass me by.

So just to recap, here are the lessons from the day:

-My children are still so young and I need to be patient with them and not expect too much from them.
-I need to not procrastinate on getting dinner ready, ever really if possible.
-I need to always allow about 45 minutes to get in the car and to a destination, as well to leave and get home.
-I need to stay calm and trust Jesus when things that feel scary happen (like a child eating medicine).
-I need to be careful about the plans I make and the expectations I put into a situation, especially when it includes the amount of time something should happen in (it usually just leads to frustration)
-I really need to learn how to forgive my children and not hold things against them, even when they do things I can't understand or that I feel are so bad

Thank You Jesus, that in the midst of

Children as Gifts

I personally love getting gifts. It is probably my primary way of receiving love from people. After I got passed the guilt of feeling shallow about this, I began to embrace this aspect of myself as the great asset it is in the Kingdom. Being able to receive God's gifts in our lives is essential to being a child of God in His Kingdom. The first gifts we need to know how to receive are His love and the free gift of righteousness in Christ Jesus. This is the gift of righteousness imparted to us by God because of the cross - Jesus lived the perfect righteous life we couldn't ever live and then died the death we deserved to die to take the penalty of our sins and then give to us the gift of His righteousness! Wow! What a gift! I am now righteous by faith and not by what I do because of what He did! I can come before my Heavenly Father cleansed and pure and righteous because I have received this gift from Him by faith! I also can freely now receive His love nd the fullness of His salvation! Gifts He wants to give me so freely!

Then from there, the list of gifts He wants to give me are endless, provided I am willing to receive them!

Romans 8:32 "He who did not spare His own son but delivered Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things."

So about 2 1/2 years ago now the Lord began to challenge me with the issue of having children, with things like how many we would have, when they would come, how we would take care of them and provide for them, etc. There is a whole long story to it that I would love to write out later, but for now I will sum it up by saying that the crux of the issue came down to Him asking me "Can you trust me? WILL you trust me in this area of your life?". I was struck with the reality that as much as I thought I was trusting Him with so many areas of my life, I was learning there always seemed to be other areas He would later reveal to me that I needed to surrender and walk by faith in. And at that point, here was my next area.

One of the bigger things I learned through this process of coming to surrender and trust this area of our lives to Jesus was the issue of the gifts. I realized that if I truly believe children are a gift from the Lord, and I love getting good gifts from my Father, why would I want to limit the number of gifts He gave me if I believed Him to be all-wise and all-knowing and very capable of choosing the best number of children for us and the best timing of thier arrival in our lives. He began to show me that he has many gifts he wants to give to his people that we so often are not wanting and willing to receive, not the least of which is our children.

Authority & Submission - Part 2

There is great freedom & blessing that comes from being under authority. We don't have to have the stress of trying to be in charge and make life work when we don't really have the capacity and ability to do so.

I look at my daughter Hope, a three year old who in many ways wishes she was 30 and tries to act like it too. She longs to be the one in charge, the mommy and the authority. One day, with the proper training, she will make an amazing mommy and grown woman of faith. However, she is not equipped yet to carry that weight. And every time she tries to be the one in charge of her own life and other's, she strives and stresses herself out. She lacks peace and joy, and she gets easily frustrated and conflicted.

Well, God somehow saw fit that I would have this child who would take awhile and some serious consistency to bring under submission to authority, so Hope has spent much of her life so far striving and trying to be her own boss. Dozens of times each day I have to remind her to ask permission to do things before she does them, and to speak to me in a way that is honoring and asking, not demanding. She still hasn't quite gotten it, but there are those moments when she gets it, and I see such a peace and joy within her as I have been able to take the weight off her shoulders of having to be the one in charge.

Part of her realizes she is too little and too naive to be the one in charge. Her spirit knows that she is much safer letting me be in charge. Yet her flesh rages and fights her all the time wanting to be the one calling all the shots.



There is great freedom in not needing to always have our own way.

We don't know what to do so much of the time.

We don't know how to keep from sinning. But as we submit to God's authority in our lives, we find what we need.

Authority & Submission - Part 1

I could write pages and pages on this, though in many ways I still struggle to have the right words for it all. But one of the things that I have radically had my eyes opened to in both marriage and parenting has been God's establishment of authority and submission on the earth and the blessing meant to be found here.

I have had my eyes opened to how much our society lacks an understanding of this truth, even in such a profound way that most people, including myself a year or two ago, have no grid for what these words are even talking about. And yet it is such a significant concept in the Kingdom. This passage has always particularly intrigued me, yet it has only been recently that I have understood what this meant.

The centurion replied, "Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, 'Go,' and he goes; and that one, 'Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it." When Jesus heard this, he was astonished and said to those following him, "I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. Matthew 8:8-10

Well, this passage had struck me because I didn't really understand two things about these verses...first of all, why did Jesus say this man had such great faith? And secondly, why did the man say that HE was under authority but then gave the explanation of how he had people UNDER his authority?

Then as God began revealing to me what authority and submission means, my questions began to get answered. Authority is an understanding of God designed order and

Authority in God's Kingdom is much different than man's perverted understanding of authority.
It has to do with delegated authority to
God has delegated us as the authority in our children's lives for their own blessing and protection. We are not to use this authority to control or manipulate, but to guide and protect our children. It is essential that they learn a healthy respect for authority as young children. Otherwise they will become teenagers and then adults who think they are their own authority, not subject to anyone else. They will kick and fight and rebel against anyone who tries to prevent them from having their own way if they never learned how to submit to their parents' God-given benevolent and protective authority in their lives.


Essentially authority is imposed by superiors upon inferiors either by force of arms (structural authority) or by force of argument (sapiential authority). Usually authority has components of both compulsion and persuasion


Much of child raising today fosters independent, strong-willed children who are being trained in developing the best manipulative techniques to get what they want. Many of our children in today's society are unrestrained and have very little respect for authority. They have been taught that they are the ones in charge and they are their own boss.

One of the reasons this is such a huge matter in my heart and life is because I have come to understand how this type of child raising directly affects one's understanding of God and how one relates to Him. God is the ultimate authority in our lives, and He is meant to be honored and obeyed. However, if we are not taught how to honor and obey the authorities in our lives, we will struggle in serious ways to live under God's authority and to honor and obey Him.

The beauty of submission to authority is that it is a place of safety. This can be seen more obviously in the sphere of government and law. When people disregard the authority of the law, many times their lives are in danger. For example, if someone is driving along the freeway and decides they do not want to have to submit themselves to the authority of the law that has put in place the speed limit, and they begin driving recklessly and too fast, there is a good chance they will get in a wreck and get hurt, as well as endangering other drivers on the road. The same is true with the authority God should have in our lives, and the earthly authorities He has given us.

Children are put under their parent's authorities because they are young and innocent and ignorant of so many things in the world. They need so much care and teaching and leading, especially as very young children. If they did not have parents to be authorities in their lives, they would die. Think about it, if my children were left to themselves, they would run out into the street and get run over, they would not know how to feed themselves or get food, and even if they managed to figure that out, they would probably eat such poor food that they would get sick, they wouldn't just go put themselves to bed so they would get exhausted and out of control and sick.

Have you read "Lord of the Flies?" This is such a good picture of what happens in a society that has lost an understanding of proper authority and submission and Godly rule.

God has established authority in the world so that people would be protected. I believe He has also given a specific picture and gift of authority in the family structure and with children so that they may learn how to properly view God and how to honor and obey Him as they learn to honor and obey their parents.

Ephesians 6:1-3
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise) so that it may go well with you and that you may live long on the earth.

What parent doesn't want their child to be blessed, to have life go well with them and for them to live a long life?

God has given us one of the keys to seeing this realized in our children's lives:

TEACH THEM TO OBEY YOU AND HONOR YOU

It is not a power trip thing. It is a God thing. It doesn't look like the way the world views authority. We are called as parents to be authorities that represent the authority of the Heavenly Father. He a good, benevolent authority, operating out of a place of lovingkindness, justice, and gentleness. He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. He is also righteous and doesn't excuse sin. He has standards and executes consequences for disobedience. He is a good Father who disciplines His children for their own good. He always does what is best for us and is never lazy in our training unto righteousness and godliness. He is committed to us and always acts out of love, even to the point that He is willing to seriously discipline us to see righteousness come forth in our lives.

4In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."[a]

7Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebews 12:7-11


As children, and even often as adults, we rarely know what is truly best for us. So often we just want what feels good or what is easy. Anything that seems unpleasant we try to avoid. Yet this is not how we grow and mature, and our Heavenly Father knows that. So He puts us in many situations in life where He can teach us and grow us and stretch us, and so much of the method for growth is to submit ourselves to Him and to His ways. This truth is the same in our children's lives. If we are going to be able to really help them grow and become mature, we must teach them to submit and obey us. Otherwise they will just continue to choose the easy way, the pleasant and enjoyable choices, that often lead to destruction rather than life. When they can learn to submit to our authority as parents, with God's help we can lead them into rest, joy and protection.

New Focus

I have very obviously stopped putting up new posts on this blog, for various reasons, mostly having to do with a lack of time. But another reason is that my focus in parenting has dramatically shifted as I have come into a new season and a new understanding of what it means for me to be a mom.

I have left the realm of figuring out the practicalities and products of motherhood and entered into a new place of understanding the heart of motherhood and disciplines of motherhood. When I first began this blog, I wanted to stay kind of clear of this type of thing because I wanted to blog to be useful to all different types of mothers with all different backgrounds and beliefs and whatnot. But I have now realized that if I am going to be able to put anything else up on this blog, it will have to be dealing with the things really near and dear to my heart when it comes to being a mother.

I apologize to any of you who may read this and be offended by my words and my new focus and switch. But I can't seem to avoid this new direction any longer and I believe it is such an essential element to parenting that many mothers have not been able to receive much encouragement and teaching in.

This may all seem very vague right now, but as I begin to write more in this new direction, I think it will become more clear. Here is my best attempt to make some bullet points on it though. This heart and mission and discipline of motherhood has brought me some of the following truths that I will probably begin writing new posts on, provided there is time to do so!

-children are a blessing from the Lord
-motherhood is a blessing, a gift, and a place of honor
-parents must have a revelation of authority and submission and teach this to their children
-freedom in mothering comes from getting into it more, not trying to escape it and gain more "me" time
-our children are worth it!
-to be the mother God's wants us to be, it will take great sacrifice and we will be able to learn how to lay down our lives for our children, and in doing so, we will truly find what we have been created for

My Favorite Sleeping Arrangement

As many of you know, there are more baby sleep theories and methods as there are colors in the rainbow. Everyone seems to have their idea of how to make it work -- what to do and not do to get your baby to sleep well, possibly even "through the night" (that blessed term every mom loves to dream about). What I have learned over the years and with my three children is A) that every baby is so different that there is definitely no one method that works for everyone, and B) we ought not idolize "sleeping through the night" the way many of us moms do. This second point is for a number of reasons. One is that as with most things in life, this season too will pass. Eventually you will be able to get your baby to sleep through the night if you are willing to do what it takes, but there is no reason to rush into this. I personally believe most babies, especially in the first six months, should NOT be sleeping through the night because they most likely need to get some nourishment at least one time in the middle of the night. Also, if we obsess over this ideal sleep pattern, we find ourselves quite miserable upon every waking and feeding time with our little one. If we realize this is all just part of the blessed journey of motherhood, we can relax a little and just embrace the opportunity to grow! I finally feel like I have figured this out this time around. With my two-year-old often waking up at least once in the middle of the night just needing to be reassured that things are okay and be directed to where her bear and paci are, and my two-month old still obviously needing to nurse once or twice in the middle of the night, I have been tempted to lose it and go into my "poor mommy me" syndrome. But fortunately I have managed to take a different stance and embrace the season of interrupted sleep.

All that being said, I actually wanted to write in this post about a sleeping arrangement/method that I have really enjoyed this time around and wish I had tried with the first two. As I said in the beginning, there are so many different ideas and theories and methods when it comes to baby sleep, that I know some of you will not be into this method at all. If you have found something that works for you, then bless you and keep at it! If you have a theory/method that sounds good and you want to try, then by all means, try it! But for what it is worth, here is what I am doing that has been working so well for me...

Of course, now I have built it up to be this big complicated thing, but really it is quite simple -- I use a co-sleeper beside the bed and put my baby (Jeremiah) down to bed anytime between 8-10pm in it. Fortunately he actually is pretty good at sleeping, unlike my first two (especially Samuel), and will sleep for awhile in his "bed". I go to bed when I am ready, and then eventually he wakes up and wants to eat. I just roll over, pull him into my bed, and nurse him. Of course the goal is to put him back in the co-sleeper to sleep more, but often we both fall asleep while he is nursing, and I don't beat myself up over not putting him back -- if we sleep until morning like that, it is fine. I learned with my first (the hard way) that in the first several months getting sleep is much more important than trying to follow what all the books say about what to do and not do. With Samuel I tried to follow all the rules, and it all backfired anyway, and left me completely exhausted and hopeless!

I am of the opinion that sometime between 2-4 months old, one should begin "sleep training" (again another very controversial subject). I won't get into all of that here. There is a post from the beginning of this blog where I tell my story and opinion on that. As I have had more children and learned more, I am even more convinced that eventually teaching your baby how to fall asleep on their own is quite important -- both for their sake and yours.

Morning (or All Day) Sickness Tips

Some of my newer tricks that have been helping me this time around:
1. drink sparkling water all day long
2. eat oranges & cheese
3. suck on calcium/magnesium chewable vitamins
4. take these complex sugar supplements 3x/day (you have to order them online -- go to:

Leg Cramps during Pregnancy

I guess now that I am pregnant again and have about 6 friends who are currently pregnant, I am on a kick of doing blogs related to the subject again! So, here are some tips on one of the most uncomfortable pregnancy related issues I've yet to encounter...

I had never actually had a muscle cramp (at least this severe) until my first pregnancy. I woke up early in the morning and my calf muscle started cramping up and spasming. I was so scared and had no idea what was happening. Fortunately, my husband was right there and knew what was going on. He began massaging my leg and it stopped. But it scared me so much and hurt so badly that I pretty much vowed to do whatever it took to NEVER let that happen again. I found out some tricks, and made sure to do them persistently. I am happy to report that though I have struggled with very sore calf muscles and the beginning feelings of a cramp coming on, I have never had another true muscle cramp/spasm since then, so the tricks have worked!

Here they are, in no particular order:

1. stretch your calves out often, especially before bed and during those middle of the night bathroom trips
2. flex your feet as much as possible when sleeping and when you wake up and feel any calf pain
3. take calcium supplements, especially before bed
4. get calf massages, come on husbands :)

Pregnancy Sleeping

All of you moms out there will already know all of this info., but for you more recent preggos, you will find this information helpful.

I was talking with one of my friends who is 24 weeks pregnant last week, and we were discussing how you are supposed to sleep when you are pregnant. She knew (as most people can figure out pretty easily) that you shouldn't be sleeping on your stomach. She also knew that she shouldn't be sleeping on her back anymore. This position causes your uterus to put pressure on your descending vena cava (the main blood vessel coming from your heart) and can diminish blood supply to your lower body, including the fetus. What she didn't know, however, was that sleeping on your left side is actually the best position to be sleeping in during the second and third trimester. Here is some info. I found on a website about this:

"Although there's no real harm in sleeping on your right side, lying on your left side is actually good for you and your baby: It improves the flow of blood and nutrients to the placenta and it helps your kidneys efficiently eliminate waste products and fluids from your body. That, in turn, reduces swelling in your ankles, feet, and hands. If you train yourself to sleep on your left side early on, you'll have an easier time falling asleep when your belly is bulging later.

During the second half of pregnancy, avoid sleeping on your back, a position that puts the full weight of your uterus on your spine, back muscles, intestines, and the inferior vena cava (the vein that transports blood from your lower body to the heart). Back-sleeping can also put you at risk for backaches and hemorrhoids, inefficient digestion, and impaired breathing and circulation. Lying on your back in the second and third trimester can also cause changes in blood pressure. For some women, it can cause a drop in blood pressure that can make them feel dizzy; for others, it can cause an unwanted increase in blood pressure."

Another issue when it comes to sleeping during pregnancy is that it can become very difficult and uncomfortable to sleep when you are pregnant. Here is a good article on some of the reasons why this is the case, more info. on good sleep positions, and other things you can do to help get a good nights sleep!

http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/pregnancy_newborn/pregnancy/sleep_during_pregnancy.html

Sweet dreams!

Cloth Diapering

A friend of mine asked me to do a blog about cloth diapers about 8 months ago, so here it finally is!

Yes, I am a mom that does cloth diapers and loves it! I am a big fan, even having two kids in diapers at once. I love not wasting - money & material. I love knowing that I am doing something that is good for my babies, good for the environment, and good for the wallet. I actually do use disposable diapers sometimes when we are out and about because it is just so much more practical, but I don't like using them much. I am also able to be so much more liberal with how often I can change my kids diapers since it doesn't matter how many we go through in a day - it won't cost me any more to change their diapers 8 times a day than it would to change it 3 times.

Well, anyway, so onto the practicalities -- there are sooooo many different products people use for cloth diapering. As many who use them would say, these are not your mother's cloth diapers! The art of cloth diapering has come a REALLY LONG WAY since we were kids! It has become much easier and much more practical. So, anyway, if you are wanting to look into cloth diapers more seriously, I would recommend checking out one of the many websites that sell cloth diapers so you can get a better idea of what all is out there. One of the best websites I've found is Jardine Diapers, jardinediapers.com to get information about all of the different covers, liners, etc. This was where I bought my initial supplies from. You can also find a lot of cloth diapering supplies, even new, on e-bay.

Okay, so here are my recommendations from some of the different products and methods I've tried. My favorite covers are the Bumkins covers. They are super easy to use, really easy to clean, and some of the most waterproof covers I've found. I also like the Prorap Classic covers and the Kushies diaper wrap because they are very affordable and also are very waterproof and easy to clean. So, basically what I do is I have Chinese pre-folds, which are just the actual cloth part, then I have some extra absorbancy liners (which are just another think fleece lined piece of cloth in the shape of a maxi-pad) that I put on top of the folded main cloth part (which I fold into fours and lay in the cover). Then I also put a flushable liner on top (my favorite of these are Imse Vimse liners, because they are BOTH flushable & reusable - in other words, if there is no poop on them, just wash them with everything else and reuse them again).

I usually do a load of diapers about once every 3 or 4 days, in my normal washing machine in hot water on the longest cycle possible. A huge life saver in cloth diapering came for me when I got a diaper sprayer that attaches to the toilet and allows you to spray off the poop into the toilet before you wash the diapers. One of my children has always had very wet and mushy poop and most of his poopy diapers needed spraying. Fortunately, my daughter usually has thicker poop that I can just grab the disposable liner and flush it down the toilet. In fact, because of the ability to flush the poop down the toilet, I feel like cloth diapers are almost LESS gross than a disposable diaper where you are usually just stuffing poop into a diaper genie or something.

"It Happened to Me"

There is a section in one of the parenting magazines I read that is called "It Happened to Me" and moms write in about accidents and things that have happened to their kids in an attempt to warn other moms so it doesn't happen to them. I've learned about some interesting and unsuspecting things to be careful about, such as letting your kids be outside when the lawn is being mowed (rocks flying at them), being careful when you're vacuuming (this one kid got his hand caught under the vacuum cleaner and it ripped his skin off), furniture falling on kids, babies getting their hands burned on the oven, and other such scary things. So, anyway, I had one of these types of things happen to me that now I want to warn other moms of!

This week I was at Costco and had my two kids (Samuel - 2 1/2 & Hope - 11 mo. now) in the shopping cart at the front seat part. (Costco's carts are great because they have places for two kids at the front!) So, they were both buckled in the whole time until we got to the check out counter and Hope started fussing, so I unbuckled her and picked her up for a few minutes. Then on the way out, I put her back in and for whatever reason, didn't bother to buckle her in again. Of course, I am sure you can tell where this is going... so, as I was unloading the stuff into my car in the parking lot, I hear this loud thump and look back to find Hope NOT in the shopping cart, and lying on the ground with her face down. I definitely about lost it, and panicked, running to pick her up and in shock that that had just happened. I really couldn't believe it and didn't know what to do. Fortunately, a lady who was close by and saw it happen came over and asked if we were okay. I was kind of panicking and asked her what she thought I should do, if I should take her to the ER. We both kind of seemed to agree that was the best idea, and she helped me finish loading the stuff into the car and get Samuel and Hope in their car seats so I could drive to the ER. Hope ended up being fine, but it certainly was very scary. I honestly didn't really ever think my kids would fall out of the shopping cart if they weren't buckled in, but now I know just how wrong this thinking was! So, learn from my mistake, and always always always buckle your kids into the shopping cart seat, even if you think it is only going to be a minute or two before you have them out again!

And while I am writing about this, when we were in the ER, I probed the doctor with a lot of questions about falls and head injuries and how to know when you really need to go to the ER, because I feel like this is something that most of us moms don't really know the right answers to. Of course, we think it would be obvious when we would need to go to the ER, but I have now taken my daughter to the ER twice in her first year of life, and both of those time I did not feel like it was a very easy and obvious decision. Yet both times it turned out that it was a good decision. Anyway, so kids fall all the time, how do you know when it is serious enough to warrant an ER visit? Here is what I learned. With children, the only way they can really know if there is serious damage to the head or brain is by doing a CAT scan. However, the radiation this uses has been found to have a negative effect on children and babies, and is a risk that is often not worth taking. Also, in order to do a CAT scan, the child has to hold completely still for 5 minutes. So, since this is pretty much impossible, they have to usually put them under for this procedure. Therefore, in order to decide to do this, there usually needs to be a pretty substantial reason to think there might be something wrong. However, if the child or baby is acting strange, lost consciousness, is vomiting or bleeding, or had a very far or hard fall, or has a pretty severe bump on the head, these things would certainly warrant an ER visit. The doctor said that the height of Hope's fall made it borderline for doing a CAT scan, but since he was able to see her and see that she seemed to be acting pretty normal, he decided against it. He just said that I needed to watch her very closely for the next 24 hours and make sure she seemed to be acting mostly normal and didn't have any of those signs I just listed. So, hopefully some of this information from my trip to the ER will be helpful to you all. (actually, hopefully you will never need to know any of this! :) Another thing I learned was that even if there is damage from the fall (other than stitches) the only thing they can actually do is if there is a blood clot, they would go in and do surgery to remove it. Kind of scary! Anyway, may none of us ever have to deal with this kind of stuff! Strap those babies in!

Child Development

One of my favorite aspects of motherhood is getting to watch my children grow and develop. It is one of the most amazing things to see the tiny, helpless newborn baby you gave birth to grow up and learn to roll over, then sit up, then start eating solid foods, then crawl, stand, walk, talk, and continue to learn more and more things everyday. It all happens in such a short period of time, and yet you barely notice it happening sometimes because it is slow and gradual.

I believe getting to really see this process is something that only parents can really get to see, because even people who get to see certain children once or twice a week don't get to see every little gradual change, as well as the changes that sometimes happen in a moment. But as moms, we get to see it all! It is so great!

Often in a matter of a week your baby goes from sitting up to crawling, or can all of sudden clap or click her tongue! Hope just started getting so good at mimicing, it is amazing! She even tries to snap her fingers when we do. She can now sign "more" and "all done" and probably could do so much more if I took the time to work with her on it! And she is only 10 months old! She just started crawling a few weeks ago, and will come to me when I tell her to. I think one of the amazing things about how infants develop is that they really understand so much more than we think they do. She certainly understands when I tell her no or when I tell her to lay down and go to sleep. Of course, she often fights me in these things and likes to pretend like she doesn't know what I am saying, but I have come to realize she really DOES know what I am saying, and if I don't let her get her way, she obliges to what I have told her. Kids are so darn amazing!

Motherhood Craziness

Well, I can't believe I haven't posted anything up on here ALL summer! So sorry everyone! We moved into a new house in July and then the rest of the summer has just seemed to be so packed with all sorts of things. Last night though I had a dream that I was hanging out with a group of moms and was sharing something and one of them said, "Can you please post that on your blog?"

Unfortunately, I can't remember exactly what it was I was sharing with them, but what I do remember was that it had something to do with how much of our lives as moms consists of dealing with any number of crazy situations, and to embrace it and know that it is normal and you are not alone!

For instance, this morning when I went upstairs to get Samuel out of bed, he tells me, "Pee pee Momma" and points to a large wet spot on his sheet. So I recognize that this morning is going to consist of a load of laundry and re-making his bed before nap time, among the normal hecticness of just getting us all fed and dressed in the morning times. After some time though, you start to realize that these sort of occurances should really just be expected and be considered normal. A poopy diaper that goes through all three layers of clothing...a fussy child that needs to be held an extra long time that day...three sets of dishes and cups that one child went through in one meal...picking up the massive pile of books and toys four times in one day (how do they manage to get so much out in such a short period of time?)...two or three baths in one day from a very messy meal or extra large amounts of dirt from playing outside or from a poopy that wipes just couldn't do justice...and the list goes on. I am sure we all have our own personal situations that make us sigh and wish we could just get away for a few hours.

And yet, it is just all part of the job, part of the blessing of being "mom". And I only have two kids, and they are barely old enough to talk yet! I can only imagine what my list might be when I have more kids and when I am dealing with all sorts of emotional issues that I haven't even come across yet!

Well, I guess the point is just that I am learning how to be more patient, more thankful, and less surprised at the daily ordeals of motherhood. I think one thing that helps the most is to remember to stop often and just enjoy my kids - just watch them and marvel at how amazing and adorable and funny they are! Many blessings to you all as you enjoy the craziness of motherhood and all the fun and wonder bundled into it all!

"14 Habits of Very Happy Moms"

I am mostly taking this list from a magazine article out of Parents magazine, but editing it according to my desires & adding my own comments because I can! It is a pretty good list with some good reminders for all of us moms out there!

1. ask for help (don't be afraid to admit you're not a super-mom & let people help you out!)
2. leave the house - now (I totally agree that getting out, especially to go outside and go to a park or over to a friend's house to play is one of the most fun and uplifting things to do, although it is very true that it is a lot of work. But most everytime I do this, I am glad I did!)
3. plan some big fun (like a vacation :)
4. exercise
5. find a way to have some alone time
6. find ways to serve & help others
7. don't be envious of other moms (& try to avoid those self-pity trips where you silently lament your lot in life of very little sleep, lots of unappreciated work, no pay, and little or no time off...that's just all part of the job description of "MOM")
8. hang with your gal pals (spend time with other moms in the "trenches of motherhood" with you)
9. spend some one-on-one time with each of your children
10. remember that nothing lasts forever (both to enjoy all the blessings that won't be there forever, and to patiently endure the difficulties that will be gone soon enough)
11. laugh & smile a lot (one of the things that makes me the happiest is just to watch my kids & realize how cute and funny they are -- to just enjoy who they are in all of their specialness)
12. dance & play music (kids love this, and it makes mom happy too!)
13. give & get lots of cuddles, hugs & kisses!
14. and the one I would probably consider the most important: BE THANKFUL! Many women these days can't even have children. Remember what a blessing it is that you have been given children, & learn how to love every minute of being a mom, because it is one of the biggest blessings God can give us!

Flying with Babies

oh my goodness everyone! I'm so sorry it has been so long since I wrote a post...a month! Well, I was in Hawaii for a week, and then we are moving at the end of the month, so I have been trying to start getting rid of stuff and packing to get ready for that! So hopefully after June I will get a little more consistent with writing posts!

So after my 5 and a half hour flight to Hawaii with a 6 month old baby, I thought I should write a post with some helpful hints I've learned and heard about flying with infants. I've also flown a lot with my son to visit my parents in Texas, a much more doable 3 hour flight.

Well, first of all, you've just gotta pysche yourself up and tell yourself you can do it, no matter how hard it may be at moments! The goal really is getting there, and sometimes that might be a messy process. While I am sure many moms have had great flying experiences with their children, and I've had my handful of relatively easy ones, there can also be moments where you feel as though you're on the brink of disaster and aren't sure if you will survive! But take heart, you will!

Okay, so on a more practical note... if you're traveling with someone else, don't sweat it. You'll have someone to help bear the burden and to help you put all of that stuff through the conveyer belt at the security check! On that note, gear yourself up for the security check, because it is one of the more intense brief moments of flying with a baby.

Well, this post is a little sporadic so far, so let me take you through flying with an infant somewhat chronologically and give you some tips as I go.

First, you need to remember to take the car seat with you as you get out of the car to go to the airport unless you already have one wherever you are traveling to. Also, I highly recommend taking the stroller too, because it is great for lugging all of your baby stuff through the airport, and you can check it at the gate. They actually make traveling with your stroller super easy.

So, you go into the airport dragging all of your luggage, pushing the stroller with the carseat in it, and finally make it to the check in line. I recommend doing the original check-in style with a real live person, because you have to tell them you are flying with an infant. Also, you should always ask how full the flight is, because if it is relatively empty, they will often book you an extra seat for the baby for free, then you can take their car seat all the way onto the plane, and you are set! Don't panic if the flight is full and you can't though. You'll still be fine (I had to have Hope on my lap the whole time flying to and back from Hawaii).

So, then you get your tickets and get all checked in. With a baby, I highly recommend checking all you can at the ticket counter, except the stroller, and I also choose to not check the infant car seat until the gate. You can either check it at the ticket counter or the gate, it is up to you, but I have found that it gets taken a little better care of if they check it at the gate and it doesn't have to get all tossed around with the rest of the luggage.

Alright, then the security line! This gets a little crazy because you have to get your shoes off, get all of your stuff up on the conveyer belt (diaper bag, purse, car seat, stroller) and then carry the baby through the security line. My advice is to just not stress, take your time, and don't worry about the annoyed people in line behind you :) You're doing the best you can!

So then as you wait at the gate, at some point you have to get a tag for the stroller and car seat to be able to check it at the gate. You just go up to the person at the counter at the gate and ask them for this.

I also would recommend taking a baby carrier in case you need to use this while you wait. I used my Ultimate Baby Wrap when travelling with Hope to get her to fall asleep several times. Another random tip is to choose carefully if possible the times you are flying. Try to set it up where you will be ON the plane for nap time, not sitting in the airport, or getting off right in the middle of a nap. Most babies (at least mine), DO NOT sleep through all the commotion of getting on and off the plane, even if it is in the middle of the night.

Alright, boarding time. Sometimes I've chosen to take advantage of the early boarding you can do with infants, but more recently I've decided against this and instead choose to be one of the last ones on the plane. This is because I find that the less time with a baby on your lap in a small space where you can't stand up, the better!

So, now you're on the plane... depending on the age of the baby, it can be pretty hard to get them to sleep until the plane has actually taken off (but at which point it is usually pretty easy for them to sleep because of the lull and humm similar to a car). So, I use this time before take off to play with a toy or something to keep them occupied. It is always a good idea to bring a few toys/books on the plane, even with a 3 or 4 month old. You never know when you might need them.

-TAKE OFF: often babies will cry at take-off and landing because their ears pop like ours. To help with this, nurse them at these points, or have them suck on a pacifier.

-IN THE AIR: don't be surprised if at some point on the flight, your baby has a melt-down. I've had it happen to me several times, and you feel really helpless and miserable, but it usually ends before too long. Here are some tricks I've found to help in these moments:
- don't be afraid to use nursing as a calming tool at any time during the flight
- pull out any toys or use any fun tricks to get your baby happy again
- bounce them up and down on your lap
far and away, the most helpful is the nursing though!

So, hopefully your baby will sleep all or at least part of the time while flying in the air. If not, hopefully they will be able to play contently on your lap or in their car seat. And if they don't, at least you'll be able to look back one day and laugh!

The good news is that when you get off the plane, most of the time your car seat and stroller will be waiting for you just out the door of the plane!

Okay, I think that is about it for now. Hope this helps in some way! Happy Flying!

A Word of Caution

This morning as I went into the bathroom for a minute while my 5 1/2 month old layed on the bed, I remembered the stories I've heard of babies falling off of couches or beds when left alone for just seconds. These stories often come to mind and serve as reminders to be extra diligent with where I leave my children and how far I get away from them. I realized the blessing it is to be able to learn from other's mistakes so that we don't have to experience them ourselves. These are the stories I was able to hear that have made me diligent and have prevented my babies from falling off of stuff (at least so far). I heard of a mom who left her sleeping baby on the bed while she was in the other room doing something. The baby was not only asleep, but couldn't roll over yet. However, she heard a loud thump and returned to the room to find her baby on the hard wood floor. He had somehow managed to roll off upon waking up.

Another friend had her baby on the couch while she was only a few feet away. He rolled off the couch and she had to watch it happen, only milliseconds away from being able to catch him.

These stories often come to my mind and serve as reminders that we must be very diligent about where we set our babies down, even if they can't roll over yet. We must stay within arms reach at all times when they are on anything high. I wanted to share these stories in order that some of you might be helped to prevent a similar thing from happening.

Also, if any of you have stories that you would like to share so that we can learn from other's mistakes and not have to repeat them, please e-mail them to me so I can post them.

funny stuff

kids often say the darnest things, and I have always enjoyed reading some of the hilarious things they say. these are some pretty funny ones that I got in an e-mail forward that I thought I would share. the last one is my particular favorite! hope you get some good laughs!


JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister.
After a while he asked: "Mom, why have you got two? Is one for hot and
one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she
was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't
remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so
much, that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a chewable aspirin. She
tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her
Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her.
Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please
don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

D. J. (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I
cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and
kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad:
"Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked
what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with
this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man
named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife
looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What
happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather
wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then
asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget . . .
It was Sunday, and time for the Minister's sermon. "Dear Lord," he
began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned
face. "Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued but at
that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to me
and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is
butt dust?"

The most wasted day is one in which we have not laughed!

Crafts for 2-year-olds

thanks, Kristy Maligro, for these great ideas!

Craft ideas to do with two-year-olds:
- cut out shopping cart and have them glue on cut outs of food items (cut out of local newspaper) or cut out paper people and glue on clothes for them
- threading cardboard bookmarks (punch holes in cardboard and use string w/ tape around end to thread through the holes)
- glue cotton balls onto a sheep cutout to make an ornament
- maybe we could have everyone at playgroup bring a t-shirt and then use a fabric pen to trace all the kids hands on all the shirts w/ their names/age in the middle of their hand.
- Rice, oatmeal, beans or noodles in a dish pan is a great sensory experience let her use measuring cups, funnels, strainer, pastry brush etc
- Take two paper plates and staple them together putting beans or rice in the middle. Let the child paint or glue or put stickers and ribbon on the outside making their own tambourine
- have races with hotwheels cars… make ramps /tunnels for them
- make shakers w/ toilet paper roll (fill with beans or rice and cover each end securely)
- playdough day
- music day - bring any instruments/rattles/etc. or scarves/ribbons... for a time of music where the kids can sing or play or dance along... can do hand motions to songs they may already know too. tagen seems to be fascinated by this lately
- make cheerio necklaces (string w/ tape around each end makes for easy threading)
- crumple paper into crazy shapes and glue onto paper... or can use pasta shells or string or something
- fingerpaint day? do we dare? May be messy but we could do it outside on a big old sheet or in the kiddie pool/hose them down after
- paint a little pot then plant something in it... take it home and have them help take care of it and watch it grow
- bring a tshirt or onesie and we can tie dye them for the kids
- ideas for learning shapes, colors, abc's, numbers...
-Get a sand/water table. Fill it with all sorts of sensory things- hard beans, noodles, water, sand, cotton balls, etc. It really helps kids learn by feel.
-For ABC's, each person bring a stuffed animal. An animal they can easily recognize as that letter- a bird for B, a deer for D, a sheep for S, etc.
-A color basket. Fill it with all sorts of items that can be passed around of that color. Red apples, a red feather boa, red flowers, red stuffed animals, etc- stuff they can touch and feel, and enjoy.
-Kids paint or color paper plates, then a grownup cuts them in a spiral. (Cut a bit of a bulge for a head in the center.) Voila! Snakes! These can be hung, too
-Use old tights/nylons to pull around wire shaped like a butterfly. The body can be a sock filled with sand (rubberbands to separate head). Kids can paint or glue on glitter
-Finger painting with pudding. (outside in the kiddie pool)
-"painting" by putting paper into a 13x9" baking pan. Put some paint on the paper and have the child blow the paint around on the paper through a straw. The results can be really pretty and after they dry, they can be hung on the wall.

--Kristy Maligro is a mother of two (a 2-year-old boy and 9-month-old girl) who used to live in Santa Barbara and recently moved to Hawaii and is a good friend of mine--

Newborn Layette Basics

Let me begin by defining "layette": the basic collection of clothing for a newborn baby.

There are many lists of what is necessary for a layette, and probably as many different opinions about what you REALLY need or don't need. From my experience, there are several factors that affect what you need in your layette. One, is the season of which your baby will be born. I've had my two babies in the winter, and therefore have needed to make sure I have some outfits to keep them pretty warm in. But summer babies will need cooler clothes obviously. Another factor is your own preferences. These can vary even from baby to baby. With Samuel, I LOVED putting him in the little one-piece footed sleepers, even all day long. I thought they were so convenient and warm and cozy. But with Hope, probably because she was a girl and I wanted to put her in cute little pink outfits, I mostly only used these at night for her to sleep in. Some moms love these things, and others don't. Okay, another factor -- how often you want to do laundry. I have found that I don't really need that many newborn clothes for two reasons - one, they grow out of it so quickly, and two, I do laundry so often that I could probably get away with about 6 outfits for them. Of course, I always have way more. But, if you think you don't want to do laundry that often, you will need more clothing. BUT LET ME GIVE YOU THIS SMALL PIECE OF ADVICE: don't wait too long to wash your baby's clothes because quickly washing things that get spit-up and poop on them is the key to keeping them from getting ruined. So, plan on doing lots of laundry if you can.

Okay, so let's get practical now. Here's a list, but remember, pick out the things that you think you will prefer to put your baby in, and try to start with less and then get more later if you are finding you really need it. (Because chances are, you won't) You can even buy things you think you will use, and not open them until you need them. That way, if you end up not using them, you can just return them. This often happens since babies grow out of their clothes so quickly. I did this with a swaddling blanket for Hope and am so glad I didn't open it, because it turned out that she didn't really like being swaddled and I never used it, so I was able to return it! (remember to keep your receipts!)

*a going-home-from-the-hospital outfit -- try to pick one of your smallest outfits unless you think you're going to have a big baby, because even most 0-3 mo. clothing swallows up a newborn (and also, make sure it is something where you can still put them securely in their carseat - so no gowns or long dresses)
*5-10 legless sleepwear outfits (sleeping gowns / kimonos / sleeping bags / newborn sacques / blanket sleepers) or footed sleepers (with the gowns or bags, some people love them and some hate them...with Samuel I hated using them because they always slid up, but with Hope I got more into them)
*6-12 onesies (short-sleeved, legless bodysuits)
*a few pairs of pants or leggings
*a few other outfits, either all-in-one piece outfits with or without feet, or some sort of top and bottom outfit
*undershirts / T-shirts (I actually rarely use these, the white onesies work better for this)
*receiving blankets (no more than 5)
*swaddling blankets (2 or 3)
*hooded towels (2 or 3)
*baby washcloths (6-12)
*socks / booties (6-12)
*hats / beanies / sweaters / bunting (depending on the climate)
*burp cloths (cloth diapers are often recommended - I usually use TONS of these at first, like probably 1 or 2 dozen)

The First Six Weeks

I want to write a brief encouragement about the adjusting process most, if not all, moms have to go through. I would have to say that the most dramatic life experience I've had so far was having my first child. I believe many moms would agree. In my opinion, becoming a mom definitely tops any other major life changes such as moving (which I've done many times), getting married, or going off to college. It was a very difficult experience for me in many ways, and yet has for sure been the biggest blessing in my life.

I just want to encourage you pregnant and new moms out there that when you have your first baby, if things are very hard, don't worry -- you are normal and things WILL get better.

After the first few months after having Samuel, I remember thinking, "why didn't anyone tell me that it would get better?" I realized that we as human beings can endure just about anything for a month or two, but in our enduring, it is very helpful to know there is an end to it. So, be encouraged, things WILL get better. Even if you're a mom struggling through 7-8 mo. old sleep problem regressions, things WILL get better.