funny stuff

kids often say the darnest things, and I have always enjoyed reading some of the hilarious things they say. these are some pretty funny ones that I got in an e-mail forward that I thought I would share. the last one is my particular favorite! hope you get some good laughs!


JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister.
After a while he asked: "Mom, why have you got two? Is one for hot and
one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she
was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't
remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so
much, that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a chewable aspirin. She
tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her
Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her.
Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please
don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

D. J. (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I
cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and
kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad:
"Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked
what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with
this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man
named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife
looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What
happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather
wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then
asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget . . .
It was Sunday, and time for the Minister's sermon. "Dear Lord," he
began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned
face. "Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued but at
that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to me
and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is
butt dust?"

The most wasted day is one in which we have not laughed!