I realized after reading some of the comments and re-reading my post, that one of the important things I should say about this issue is that this is a sensitive subject for many moms, and that I don't want to come across as being an expert on the issue, nor do I want to promote any one type of parenting style over another in regards to this.
I think one of the biggest things I've learned about having babies is that they are ALL SO DIFFERENT, and that what works for one does not work for another. It is the same with mothers too...we are all so different, and what works for one mother does not work for another. For example, I know two moms who are both great mothers and yet have incredibly different parenting techniques. In regards to their babies' sleep, one of the moms breastfeeds on demand and fed her baby throughout the night until just recently (the baby is 20 months old), getting up with her every few hours to nurse her back to sleep. Then after she weaned her, she would rock her to sleep and probably still does. The other one (a mother of four), has taught most of her babies to sleep by doing fairly serious sleep training when needed, having them cry for even long periods of time sometimes. These two drastically different methods of dealing with their babies' sleep is what worked for each of them and for their babies. Again, what works for one does not always work for another, and that goes for both babies and moms.
Also, as you can see from what I just wrote, sleep and nursing/eating for babies are very much related. Some people nurse their baby to sleep all day long and all night long. Others don't think this is the best method, and they do more of a nurse, awake, then sleep cycle throughout the day, in hopes that the baby will learn to fall asleep on their own.
But the other thing I want to say right now about this issue is that it is very important to respond to your baby's cries, and especially when they are newborns. Sleep training is not about leaving your baby to cry, especially for no reason. It is about teaching them to fall asleep on their own without your help, an idea that some moms don't agree with at all and others swear by.
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4 comments:
Thanks Holly - at some point I would love to hear what the sleep training consists of. Thanks for your help!
Yay for night time parenting. The cry it out method does not work. Besides the fact that it is borderline abuse, it fosters anger in both baby and parents. Dr. Sears is a great resource for all moms, but especially new moms. Good advice Holly, responding to your babies cries is so key to building trust. By the way, the pics of Samuel with the dog are so precious.
We tried the crying it out thing and it was horrible! I decided to give it a few more months when I was more ready and she was too. I am way more in favor of giving my child
security...and eventually they will learn to fall asleep on their own.
We let annika cry it out. :)
We check on her frequently enough to make sure she will know we are A) here and B) loving her, but we allow her to figure out that she isn't the center of the universe, and it works great. For some babies, it takes three days, for others, two weeks, but I guarantee they WILL get into a routine. and when they get to that place, they sleep so great. It isn't for me, I have to admit I really enjoyed those late night nursing sessions, but I can tell you that every single time my baby wakes up, she does so with giggles or talking, not crying, because she is rested and in a comfortable routine... it's by far my favorite technique.
Yes, it's hard to let them cry, but the benefits for them are far greater than us giving in to their self-centered desires... at least in my opinion.
It makes good training starting very young for more contented toddlers, and I'm totally excited about the fact that even though she was fully nursed, she slept through the night from a very young age, at least for stretches of 5 hours or so.
That being said, parenting is a personal thing, I just had to counter the anonymous quote that said crying it out fosters anger and is abusive. I'm on the other end of the spectrum and I know "my type" is usually afraid to be too vocal about it. :P
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